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p a r t o n e [Jan. 14th, 2008|12:45 am]
something clever
[Tags|]
[Current Music |Led Zeppelin- No Quarter]

HEAP
BIG
DYSFUNCTIONAL
WORLD

A POIGNANT SATIRE
BY MAX E. 

P A R T  O N E



  You know him as KWD, but to the rest of the country it's Scott Pool. 

As a obligitory exposition to the reader, we shall provide a background of this young man.

Scott Pool was born to Anglo-Saxon parents in upstate New York. His early life was uneventful and quite possibly filled with self-contentment. The arrival of puberty found Scott drifiting into the lower stratas of the socially crippled half of society. Scott often sought the ideal-but not the utopian, and never from himself. Scott had no talents, no ambitions, no sense of dignity, self-respect, or the expectations of society. He was so miserably worthless as to render even the most upright and self-righteous activist able to reconsider mercy killing.

He also had an anime girlfriend.

And in spite of all this, Scott was discontent with his lot in life. He decided to unleash his creative energy on what would no doubt be a swashbuckling sci/fi work of adventure-fiction soon to be transfered into a multimillion dollar motion picture screenplay and a television spin-off series renewed for several seasons in quick succession.

Seeing as any substantial lack of talent had never stood in his way of self-fulfillment before (due to a horrible defecit of Darwinian oversight-but that's a satire for a different day), Scott Pool began to write. 

It should be noted that the sum of Mr Pool's perceptual experiences up to this point can be categorized as forced participation in an otherwise sedentary lifestyle. Owing to this, Mr Pool became enamored of a modern-day cultural phenomenon of Japanese animation. His encounters with literature-the term is used quite loosely in this context-were therefore limited in serialized comic strips. It is unclear whether the Japanese made Scott into the monstrosity of aesthetics he came to be or if Scott was merely the next logical step in the bottom-of-the-barrel sociophobic petty bourgeois lifestyle.

And so the potential creative output of Scott was the hypersexualized and hackeneyed bullshit he poured over every night in his parents' apartment by flashlight.

In reference to this experience, Scott began to write. As had been said before, Mr Pool was an idealist. To begin his fictitious memoirs, he must first establish the ideal.

To Mr Pool, as it is with all postpubescent outcasts unable to find a reliable sperm bank to releive themselves within, the ideal was feminine. Now Scott had to establish himself as being ambitious. The world liked ambitious people, especially if they wrote ambitious things and worded them well. Scott wanted to be liked, and so he feigned ambition and eloquence. He thought of several words that may or may not be profound in any given context and threw them around in his head until they formed a somewhat believeable sentence.


                         chilling            

yet slightly seductive 



feminine 


voice echoed

acro     s  s                  the                                                    r         o            o                       m
 


Mr Pool indulged himself in a sigh of relief. The exposition was complete. He glaced over his work so far, and, upon deep reflection, came to the conclusion that it more than captured the attention of the reader. A smile eased itself into the centre of Scott's acne-covered face. And now, for the plot. 

This proved to be problematic. Scott racked his brain for a good while. Plots had characters. 
Scott thought of anime.

Characters have big eyes big tits effeminate hair m u s c l e s selfconfidence and NAMES THAT END IN VOWELS TWO OR MORE IS BETTER THAN ONE

Scott had found his muse. Without much further hesitation, he concocted the protagonists, antagonists, and stock characters. He assigned them names that sounded like they could belong to a guy with a sword who walks around the countryside in a sort of cape that is opened ever so slightly to reveal the pectoral muscles hidden inside that made every ovulating ingenue from miles around masturbate with a fishing pole.  Or perhaps a naive young girl who walked around the countryside in a short plaid skirt and huge tits huge tits tits that bulged out from the half buttoned polo shirt that had been neatly placed onto her pertrubing chest. 


But Scott paused. Something was missing. a spiritual element is missing

The first sentence had to have meaning. Not just the profound, but the logical. His story needed progression. It needed events that occured in a linear fashion. 

and so scott pool continued to write i am sorry folks it is late
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(no subject) [Jan. 13th, 2008|08:00 pm]
something clever


  whoops
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(no subject) [Jan. 8th, 2008|09:29 pm]
something clever

<Dale> speaking of which is your grandma dead yet
<rmd> no
<rmd> .
<rmd> :(
<Dale> is that a good thing
<rmd> yes!

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minority scholarships are out of the question [Jan. 4th, 2008|12:00 am]
something clever
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[Current Mood |rushedrushed]
[Current Music |Burn Your Money - Alejandro Jodorowsky]

haha right from the start 2008 is stressful !


oh college credit, life was such a carefree stroll through smiling daisies before you came knocking at my doorstep halfway through middle school which seems a bit too soon but fuck if the job market isn't screwed up
next thing you know i am printing off copypasted pages from the USC website at 12 am and racking my brain to consider how my academic background at a middle class tennessee high school entitles me to admission to an apparently selective summer program
and what i want to achieve from said programs
success?



REGARDLESS and because really my life isn't all that bad (hell, I could be getting more than enough sun exposure on a third-world
Caribbean island and posting my malcontent sentiments on my blog
) AND because I don't want my comments to be a flood of faux I CAN RELATE TO THAT SITUATION YOU DESCRIBED DALE BECAUSE I TOO AM A TEENAGER STRESSED BY SOCIETY'S EXPECTATIONS OF ME shit


'The Holy Mountain' is a fucking awesome movie.



well this isn't helping

so uh

Huckabee and Obama, huh. I daresay this political event horizon looks quite interesting, yes?
tell me what you think of this phenomenon, livejournal friends
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everyone was doing it [Dec. 12th, 2007|10:19 pm]
something clever
[Tags|, ]
[Current Music |Mr. Croatia Goes to Washington- KARL ROVE]





validating

Also of intrest to my livejournal comrades is the upcoming event of a fine collaboration between me and Ferderbar on a compelling transcendental satire concerning how all of you will fuck up his life in twenty-odd years! 


http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=WrvOCVyCWKblmig-PI-DCACA-94f7&u=42516ccfc33a
full disclosure of exhibitionism, etc. 
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2007|06:38 pm]
something clever
[Current Mood |morosemorose]

Our dear friend, known to some as MetalMagi, has just informed me of a completetion of the alternate flavour to wash down the bitter satire of what you have come to know as Les Vingt Mille Nuits Des Capitalistes. The aforementioned informing took place in the form of a rather brief private message received through the KRR + plus forums. It begins:


Finished this last night but you went to bed I guess. I thought up this idea at work when I was bored and thought I had to write it down.

Enjoy!

BEGINS IN THE LAST CHAPTER IN THE TRIAL SCENE, THEN DEVIATES SHORTLY AFTER.




 
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(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2007|06:01 pm]
something clever
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[Current Mood |satisfiedsatisfied]
[Current Music |KARL ROVE- Mr. Smorg Goes to Washington]

my life is splendid, in case you were wondering
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a staggering work of artistic brilliance, quite honestly the most insightful occurance experienced [Oct. 20th, 2007|06:23 pm]
something clever
<Dale> god it's like watching 'the graduate' in slow motion except there's no sex
<RMD> I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING
 
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happy birthday, me [Oct. 15th, 2007|10:01 pm]
something clever
[Current Music |Music with Changing Parts- Philip Glass]

No seriously I'd like to thank just about everyone online for wishing me a happy birthday without me having to whore myself out too much-

speaking of not having to whore myself out, god damn it faggots if you haven't read parte sixteen of LVMNDC! you need to fucking read it now and if you have, read it again because god damn it everything has a double meaning i'm sure you don't understand everything is a complex metaphor so just keep rereading it until you understand everything perfectly, i poured my soul out and lost a good amount of sleep writing this masterpiece of modern literature so you faggots better fucking make the effort worthwhile-zreb is excluded he made everything worthwhile





speaking of masterpieces of modern literature i saw a good movie


happy birthday, me



i can drive???

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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2007|05:57 pm]
something clever
well this is overdue
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